Daniela ( Philippines )
The value of giving without expecting anything in return – Daniela’s goosebump moment
Daniela: “Hello. I come from the Philippines. My goosebump moment was when I was admitted to the hospital in 2016. I was on the verge of death because of a pulmonary infection and tuberculosis. We did not have any money for my treatment. Our bills ran up to 100 thousand and my Momma was crying inside my room saying “Oh my gosh, how can we survive? We do not have any money”. My Papa’s salary was minimum wage and that was when the doctor entered the room and said “Don’t worry, I will help you. I will let her in the Charity, so that when you go out of the hospital, you do not have to pay a single cent”. That’s when my Mama burst into crying and said “Thank you Doc, we did not expect this”. That is how Filipino’s care and love each other, without expecting anything in return.”
A rewarding experience
Giving without expecting anything in return from others, although it may seem a complicated exercise, is most gratifying and the benefits are infinite. It is a beautiful thing to give, to contribute, to enrich, to favour, to invite. They are all synonyms of one of the best things we can do for our world, for our happiness, and for our own well-being, not to mention the happiness and well-being of others at the same time.
Giving without expecting anything in return invites us to trust, to open ourselves to life, to its immensity. It means that we give the best of ourselves, what we must give and do not expect what will come in return.
Benefits of selfless giving
Some of the associated benefits or wellbeing that we can experience by putting into practice giving selflessly to others are more satisfying than we may think.
Giving without expecting anything in return makes us emotionally strong. The action of giving a gift to someone, knowing that we may not receive anything in return, is a way of exercising our emotional maturity, our capacity for detachment and developing altruism.
Giving is another way of expressing our feelings. Verbal language is not always a favorite ally to make our thoughts and emotions known. Choosing a gift gives us the possibility of expressing what we feel through an alternative way to words and this, at the same time, produces emotional satisfaction.
Giving to others also allows us to strengthen bonds. In this case, sending a gift can promote emotional closeness despite geographical remoteness, especially when the chosen gift possesses a symbolic meaning capable of mitigating physical absence.
Giving to others makes us feel satisfied. One of the hidden keys behind the act of giving to others and feeling good about it is seeing the expression of joy on someone else’s face and knowing that we are the cause of it, which makes us feel valuable and important.
How to learn to give without expecting anything in return
The people you love, those to whom you give yourself, are in your life for various reasons. They are friends, relatives, people you admire, respect, and love. They are there for a reason. Maybe you can’t expect the return of your generosity, but you can enjoy many other things. Their support, their optimism, their ideas, their security when something worries you, their availability when you ask them for a favour.
You should concentrate on everything they have contributed to your life so far rather than on what they have failed you in. If the shortcomings you have in your relationships are something that can be solved, talk about it. If you think they are aspects of the person that are difficult to change, decide if you want to keep the positive version over what you don’t like. Depending on your decision, tighten the bond of what adds and neglect what subtracts. If it doesn’t pay off, distance yourself.
Don’t expect from others what they can’t give you, because you will only suffer. You will always be measuring, waiting for something that does not come, getting frustrated for not receiving in return what you have already given. Give without measuring. Give for pleasure. Give because it comes from inside of you. Give because that’s who you are and that’s how you feel. Without any other way around. And above all, learn to keep seeing the good things in people.
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