person from Zambia (Chikondi)

Hand holding in relationships

Chikondi ( Zambia Zambia )

The meaning of holding hands in a relationship – Chikondi’s goosebump moment

(text video)


Chikondi: “Hi, I am from Zambia. I am here to tell you about the moment that gave me goosebumps. So, one day, I was walking down the street and I met this old couple. They were holding hands while walking. As I got close to them, I was able to hear what they were saying, so she said to him, she said, “Aren’t you tired of holding my hand?” And he said, “I will never get tired of holding your hand. So, do not even start with that”. So, it said a lot, that moment, and every time I go back to it, I get goosebumps.”

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The importance of hand holding in a relationship

There are activities that create intimacy in couples and holding hands is one of them. Although it is thought to be a simple gesture, this body language says a lot about the way your partner views your relationship and the way they see you.

Holding hands expresses a very deep connection and means that your relationship goes beyond the physical, that you are not afraid to be vulnerable and that you feel amazingly comfortable together. It is certainly a gesture that gives us goosebumps.

Interpersonal synchronization

Holding hands with your partner is an unmistakable sign of your love for each other in a public way. It provides security to the person within the relationship and serves as a signal to indicate protection to the other person.

In addition, the fact you hold hands provides security to the relationship and, at the same time, this physical contact with the partner serves as a pain reliever in case of suffering.

This gesture also helps to reduce anxiety. If your partner suffers from anxiety, then having their hand next to yours will help them  reduce their anxious feelings and feel more secure. In addition, when we hold our partner’s hand, a substance called oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, is released in the brain.

In essence, as you share this physical closeness with your partner you will achieve a more stable relationship, with more trust, less stress and more love. Your partner will feel more loved and protected, the level of anxiety will lower, and you will be able to understand each other more clearly in this form of non-verbal communication. To the extent that you value this action, your relationship will be more solid.

The relevance of physical affection

We often underestimate the importance of physical interaction with those we cherish and love. We take for granted that physical contact is not necessary, which means that daily our connection with others is reduced to words and eye contact. And we do not even get as much out of physical affection as we could.

Our need to mark and protect our personal boundaries at all costs causes us to gradually reduce the amount of physical affection we show to its minimum expression to what is socially correct, to a meaningless habit that makes us more and more uncomfortable or leaves us empty due to lack of authenticity.

By treating physical contact in this way, we are forgetting how important it is for the well-being of our physical, emotional and mental health. Touching another human being allows us to convey important messages that words or deeds alone do not show.

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